Commenters praised a man for taking back the deposit for his daughter's wedding after he was told he couldn't walk her down the aisle.
The Original Poster (OP), known as u/CultureFantastic4947, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 14,000 upvotes and 1,800 comments. The post can be found here.
Wedding Costs
Data collected by The Knot found that the average wedding in 2021 cost $28,000, not including the price of the engagement ring.
Traditionally, the bride and family are responsible for paying for the service and reception. However, experts recommend that couples discuss the finances before even planning the wedding to ensure everyone is clear on their responsibilities.
Experts also say that couples should come up with a budget plan so they do not have to rely on family members for help.
'Am I The A**hole?'
In the post titled "AITA for cutting off support to my daughter?" the 52-year-old man said he has three children with his ex-wife Tracy: Michael, 28, Linda, 25, and Victoria, 23.
The man said he and Tracy divorced after she had an affair with Stan, her now-husband.
"We never shared with the kids the reason for the divorce as I didn't want them to blame either of us," the post read. "This backfired as the kids saw their mom move out of the house, into a small apartment, and me keep living in the house and remarry two years after the divorce. So they saw me as the bad guy."
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According to the man, Tracy and Stan were not strict on the kids so he had to step in as the "disciplinarian" to make sure school work was done and appointments were made.
After his son Michael found out that Tracy did not put money away for his college, which was outlined in the divorce agreement, she told him to take out student loans.
Then Linda realized her bad grades were going to keep her from getting into her desired program at school.
'A Suprise'
"My two oldest eventually came to realize that I was not the bad guy," the post read. "My youngest never came around. So it was a surprise when her boyfriend asked for my blessing to ask for her hand. When I expressed that I didn't think she'd care about my blessing he said she insisted on it."
The man said his youngest, Victoria, began spending more time with him and his wife and said it "felt wonderful" to be together.
"I went with them to book the venue, and they'll be getting married next summer," the post read. "I paid the deposit and the first installment."
But after making the payment, the man said he noticed Victoria becoming less communicative and ignoring his texts or not coming over.
'Daddy's Girl'
Recently, the man's son sent him an Instagram post of Victoria at her engagement party that he was not invited to.
"One of the photos was her with Stan and it read, 'anyone can be a father. It takes a real man to be a Dad. This amazing guy has been my dad for 15 years even though he didn't have to be. I am so blessed to have him walk me down the aisle next year! #daddysgirl #futuremrsx," the post read.
When he asked Tracy why he was not invited, she said that Victoria didn't want his wife there because it should be a "drama free day," although he said his wife has never started drama.
He then asked if Stan would be walking Victoria down the aisle, and although Tracy didn't respond, Victoria called him and demanded to know what his "problem was."
"I repeated my question and she replied that no, Stan, her dad, would be walking her down the aisle," the post read. "I told her that if that's what she wanted I would be fine with it. I told her to let Stan know the next payment for the wedding is due in November."
He said he is aware that Stan and Tracy cannot afford this wedding and both think he is being an a**hole. His daughter Linda said if he takes back the money, Victoria will never speak to him again, but his son is defending him.
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Redditor Reactions
More than 1,400 users commented on the post, many supporting the man's decision to take back the money for the wedding.
"NTA. If you aren't her Dad in her eyes then why would you pay for the wedding," one user said. "And here is a novel idea...the bride and groom can pay for the wedding instead of the parents!!!"
"NTA. Maybe it's time you told your kids the real reason behind the divorce," another said.
"You aren't cutting off support, you're declining to pay for the remainder of the wedding expenses when you are going to be disrespected at the event," another said. "It's pretty obvious that Victoria cozied up to you for a while (and even had her boyfriend ask for your blessing) to sucker you into paying for everything."
"The truth about your divorce was ugly and unflattering to Tracy, so you apparently agreed to hide it forever, OP...not just till the kids were grown, but forever," another said. "That decision has bitten you in the butt and cost you your relationship with at least one of your adult kids."
Newsweek reached out to u/CultureFantastic4947 for comment.
Other Viral Posts
In another viral Reddit post, a bride was slammed for not inviting her brother-in-law's "needy" fiancée to her wedding. Another bride was criticized for uninviting a friend from her wedding who recently lost their arm in a car accident.
But users backed one bride for not inviting her stepsisters to her wedding after claiming they "aren't family."
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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